"What if You Get Hurt?"

Over the past four months, one of the common questions I get about my biking trip is, "What if you get hurt?" There are inquires about medical vans, hospitals, if I have to return home, etc. And the made up injuries have ranged from broken bones to death. Even though I am grateful to have family and friends that worry for me, it made me uncomfortable to answer these questions because it forced me to think about what could happen.

Nashville is ranked 14th on most dangerous places for pedestrians and cyclist out of the 54 major cities in the US. This seems to be a trend in Tennessee since Memphis grabbed the number 7 spot. Since Nashville is not very biker friendly, it has been an interesting, reflective experience during my 500 miles of training. The only biking lanes that seem to exist in the city are on the most dangerous streets that you would not be sane to use. However, I tried it anyways. There were times where I almost starting crying on my bike because of the close proximity cars would quickly pass. Cars will be parked in the bike lane or don't care enough to check it before turning. Did you know some people even go as far as "dooring" cyclist? Check it out. I discovered that I pray more when I bike.

This last semester I was in a 20th/21st century War class. One of the main themes of the class was how the soldiers all reacted to the violence of war. To name a few types, there was the courageous, the cruel or the coward. In the book Band of Brothers, one of the soliders recounts that the cowardly soldiers always had an ironic ending. They were too scared to fight so they froze which ultimately resulted in their death. One day while biking up a hill on Granny White Road, I froze. I was deathly afraid. It was a twisting road with blind spots where cars go 50 mph and certainly don't care about cyclists. So I stopped. I pulled over in the driveway and angled my bike so I was visible. There was a mental war about whether I should call someone to pick me up or keep going. But I am much to proud and stubborn to call anyone, so I repeated to myself, "Don't be a coward. The cowards die." Finally, I hopped on my bike and repeated it all the way up the narrow, snaking road until I reached an opening.

I was proud of myself for sticking through it, but it made me painfully aware of the dangers on the road.  Yet with time, I flinched less when cars sped by me or made unpredictable behaviors, and I calmly reacted to protect myself. I began to realize that this is the same thing people do when they drive. When you first begin, you are so scared of everything little thing then as time goes on, it becomes second nature. That is what biking is becoming for me, and it is liberating. We risk our lives every day. So why would I hold myself back from experiencing life due to the fear of death? I cannot wait to see the country in such a beautiful way, serve the community, and grow as an individual. And I refuse to let fear hold me back even though I am terrified. As the great John Wayne said, "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyways."